


haha and then what ;)

by rnanqo



Category: The Locked Tomb Trilogy | Gideon the Ninth Series - Tamsyn Muir
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/F, Masturbation, Sexting, we all know dulcie's a top
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-18
Updated: 2020-12-18
Packaged: 2021-03-10 17:15:33
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,102
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28120746
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rnanqo/pseuds/rnanqo
Summary: DULCIE: wish I was therePALAMEDES: What would we be doing if you were here?DULCIE: hmm well to do anything interestingi think I’d have to take off your clothes-------Camilla is left alone one night with Palamedes' phone...and a Dulcie Septimus with an agenda.
Relationships: Camilla Hect/Dulcinea Septimus
Comments: 16
Kudos: 97





	haha and then what ;)

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to the lovely KoriLovesIt for betaing!

“Stop with the emails,” Camilla says. “They’ll still be there tomorrow morning.”

She and Palamedes got home from the lab an hour ago, but both of them are still at the countertop that passes for a kitchen table in their shitty studio apartment, too tired to move. The dishes are crusting over with remnants of reheated chana masala, and Palamedes is still squinting at his phone, going through emails.

“Hey.” Camilla nudges his leg with her own. “Go shower.”

Palamedes tosses his phone onto the counter, rubbing his eyes under his glasses. “Can you reply to Dulcie for me? Just tell her that it’s an interesting idea but I’m not sure. I’ll look into it tomorrow morning.” He nearly trips on his way into the bathroom and shuts the door.

Camilla looks at the dishes, and decides they’re a problem for Tomorrow Camilla. She unlocks Palamedes’ phone, opens the message thread.

DULCIE

can you find me the theorem for the mesenchymal reversal? i had a thought about incorporating it with #290cx

PALAMEDES

Interesting idea. Not sure. I’ll look into it tomorrow morning.

Camilla hasn’t even put the phone back down before it buzzes with Dulcinea Septimus’s response. Sometimes she takes a cool three days to reply, so that’s a surprise.

DULCIE

oh my b! of course it must be late in your timezone

It would just be rude to leave her hanging.

PALAMEDES

Not really. It’s 10 P.M.

DULCIE

lol you off to bed already?

Camilla sits on the edge of the bed, tapping her thumbs against the sides of the phone case. She’s under no obligation to continue this conversation. But Palamedes is in the shower, and will be for a long time—the lengths of his showers are directly proportional to how much hard thinking he’s done that day. She can wipe the thread. He doesn’t have to know.

PALAMEDES

Not just yet, no.

DULCIE

what are you up to then

PALAMEDES

Actually just kind of sitting here, texting you. Waiting for the bathroom to free up.

DULCIE

ooh I see

in pajamas yet

PALAMEDES

No, I have to change.

DULCIE

what are you wearing?

PALAMEDES

Gray.

DULCIE

not what I meant

Oh. _Oh_. Camilla worries her bottom lip, then slowly slides one of her socks off, then the other. She folds them neatly and picks the phone back up.

PALAMEDES

Getting changed now. Just took my socks off.

DULCIE

you’re adorable

PALAMEDES

So…what are you wearing?

DULCIE

hahahah thought you’d never ask

A selfie comes through. Dulcie’s flung back against a ruffled pillow, brown curls haloing her head. She’s looking into the camera with what could be called a smirk, and the lace-edged green nightgown isn’t done up all the way. The buttons are undone just enough to reveal the creamy skin over the sternum, and the curves of what could be conjectured, if one was so inclined, to be breasts.

Cam puts a hand over her eyes and takes a deep breath. Then she looks again and notices—

That nightgown’s see-through. Down at the edge of the frame, peeking darker through seafoam lace, are those _nipp—_

The phone buzzes.

DULCIE

got you speechless, huh?

PALAMEDES

Uh. Sorry. A little bit. Yeah.

It’s been a solid two minutes since the photo and Camilla still can’t get her head on straight. She rolls onto her back on the bed, holding Palamedes' phone above her face.

PALAMEDES

That’s a really nice nightgown.

DULCIE

hehe thanks

it’s more of a peignoir actually

PALAMEDES

And a really good photo.

DULCIE

more where that came from

PALAMEDES

Yeah?

DULCIE

but you should be sleeping, so

PALAMEDES

Suddenly I don’t really want to be sleeping, actually.

DULCIE

hahah me either

wish I was there

PALAMEDES

What would we be doing if you were here?

DULCIE

hmm well to do anything interesting

i think I’d have to take off your clothes

i’d be really slow about it

the shirt first, I think

Camilla undoes the buttons down the front of her shirt. There’s just the faintest tremble in her fingers. Not nerves, never nerves. She slides her shirt off her shoulders and lets it drop to the floor.

PALAMEDES

Shirt’s off.

DULCIE

then i’d run my fingers over your chest…do that for me?

A shaky exhale leaves Camilla’s mouth, but she’s still not nervous. Nope. Her fingers dance across the skin under her collarbones. 

PALAMEDES

Okay. 

DULCIE

good, good

now take them down to your waistband for me

Camilla takes her time with that, fumbling for the phone with her other hand. 

PALAMEDES

Okay. 

DULCIE

unbutton, unzip

PALAMEDES

Okay. 

DULCIE

now slide your fingers a little further down

PALAMEDES

Thought you were just undressing me.

DULCIE

it’s rude to unwrap a gift without appreciating it along the way

if i was there i’d do it, but, well

you just have to tell me what you feel

Camilla kicks her pants off and rolls over onto her stomach. She’s running her tongue over her bottom lip in anticipation, which is not like her. The sound of Palamedes’ showering is steady in the background.

PALAMEDES

You’ve got me good, I’ll give you that much. And you’re not even here.

DULCIE

haha i am so powerful

if i was there, i’d grab your ass

just give it a big old squeeze

you have such a nice ass

Camilla raises an eyebrow at that; Palamedes has never done a squat for his health in his life. But she can pretend the compliment is for her. She trains to be proficient in sword-swinging, but a spectacular ass is a little-remarked-upon ancillary benefit. Hearing it acknowledged _does things_ to her.

PALAMEDES

Thanks. I bet you do, too.

DULCIE

you’re too kind

but my best assets have always been:

And here comes another photo, Dulcie still in that frothy seafoam nightgown—peignoir—but this time it’s wholly undone. Camilla’s mouth falls open just as the translucent fabric falls open around Dulcie’s tits. Perfect. Round. Just what was promised by that earlier teaser. An adorable freckle on the underside of one, near the raised pink nipple.

PALAMEDES

Wow. If you were here I’d kiss that freckle. You’re gorgeous.

DULCIE

haha and then what

PALAMEDES

I’d kiss your breasts. 

DULCIE

i want lip kisses too please

PALAMEDES

Of course, of course. I’m presupposing we’ve done that already. 

There are lips in the photo too, Camilla notices, scrolling back up to drink her visual fill. The framing is lips-downward, one of Dulcie’s pale fingers teasing at the edge of her ruby lip, as though saying, _Come here._ Somehow, though they’ve never even met, Camilla can imagine what it would feel like to kiss that lip. 

DULCIE

more kisses never hurt though

what else

PALAMEDES

This is true. And then I want to run my tongue down your sternum.

DULCIE

ahaha ok

i’d let you assuming it was sexier in practice than in theory

although i thought theory was your specialty

A subtle dig, or does Dulcie _know_ ? Camilla has the wild irrational thought that Dulcie _knows_ she’s not Palamedes. Somehow. Only how would she? 

Her heart’s thudding against her chest. Not nerves. She’s breathing hard. Damn, this is really _having an effect_ on her.

PALAMEDES

Hard to think smart thoughts when you’re sending me photos like that. If you were here I could just show you what I meant.

DULCIE

only teasing, smartie pants ;)

speaking of pants, yours better be all the way off

Camilla hastily slides her underwear off. There’s a dark wet spot in the center of them. She kicks them to the floor and slingshots her sports bra after them for good measure. 

PALAMEDES

They are now. How about that nightgown? Why is it still on?

DULCIE

don’t worry it provides full access

PALAMEDES

That’s convenient.

DULCIE

i have always wanted to fuck someone in this peignoir

in front of a mirror

flowers on the table nearby maybe

PALAMEDES

So Seventh. We don’t have flowers or a mirror...

(Not strictly true—they have a shitty IKEA mirror over the back of the closet door. Camilla can see herself, slightly distorted, in it. She’s flushed from cheeks to chest and her free hand has made its way south.)

PALAMEDES

But I’d definitely let you fuck me. 

DULCIE

that’s what I like to hear

shall I lie you down on the bed? or bend you over it and take you from behind

Camilla has to close her eyes at this and take several deep breaths. 

PALAMEDES

The first. I want to see you.

DULCIE

lovely

on your back

since I’m not there your hand will have to do

PALAMEDES

Already there.

DULCIE

naughty naughty

start slow

slower than you usually go

Camilla ignores that. She’s already so slick she can barely find any friction, her fingers circling her clit.

DULCIE

i mean it, no cheating

Is she _psychic?_

With a groan, Camilla slows it down. This is agony. Literal agony.

PALAMEDES

Please

DULCIE

no :)

i have to tell you how gorgeous you look, all spread out underneath me

i have to run my hands over your chest and kiss your neck and i’ll only speed up if you beg me to

PALAMEDES

Please

DULCIE

beg harder

PALAMEDES

Please Dulcie I need it I’m so

Sorry it’s really hard to tyoe with one habd

DULCIE

do you want to see what this is doing to me

Yes, the answer is yes, obviously yes. The photo loads before Camilla can even fumble out a reply. The focus is on Dulcie’s fingertips, coated in wetness, spread in a V, with a shining string between them. They’re hovering right above a mound of trimmed dark brown hair. Camilla’s breath hitches. The entire shot is so tasteful, so Seventh. The idea that Dulcie is just as turned on by this as she is gives Camilla a jolt low in her belly.

Then the water in the bathroom shuts off. It’ll only be a few minutes now before Palamedes dries himself off and gets his teeth brushed. Camilla’s fingers work faster, finding a serious rhythm.

PALAMEDES

Dulcie I can’t last much longer

DULCIE

are you close

PALAMEDES

Yes of course I just said that

DULCIE

all right

be a good girl and cum for me then

_Good girl?_

It’s partly the knowledge that Dulcie _knows_ that pushes Camilla over the edge. It’s partly the note of approval, which she can hear so clearly in Dulcie’s voice as though she’d been right there, holding her tight. She drops the phone and swallows a moan as the orgasm crests through her.

The bathroom door opens, and Palamedes comes through, yawning.

Camilla leaps up in a panic and starts tossing clothes aside, trying to find one of her sleep shirts. By the time he’s in the room she’s wrestled it over her head and is pulling her shorts on with a quickness.

“Still talking to Dulcie?” Palamedes says, rubbing his hair dry with a towel. It’s flat for now but later it’ll stick up everywhere, no matter how he dries it.

She bites her lip. He won’t notice the flush in her cheeks, or the way her heart is beating fast, or the tension in her thighs where she’s pressing her legs together. She could go for another round, easy, but it’ll have to wait.

“Yeah, just,” she says, and immediately forgets whatever excuse she had been about to give him. “You know. Talking. I’ll wrap up.” 

DULCIE

was that good for you ;)

PALAMEDES

Very. Wow. 

How did you know it was me?

DULCIE

punctuation lol

don’t feel bad cam I enjoyed that immensely

and I bet you did too

  
  


She can hardly deny it. 

  
  


PALAMEDES

I did.

DULCIE

can I ask a favor? 

don’t wipe the chat

PALAMEDES

Wasn’t planning on it. 

DULCIE

the photos were really good and I hate to send repeats

PALAMEDES

Valid.

Also. Thanks.

DULCIE

yw ;)

give him a kiss from me as a sorry for stealing you lol

PALAMEDES

Will do.

DULCIE

gnight sweet camilla 

fuck soon

PALAMEDES

Do you mean talk?

DULCIE

i do not

The phone is on the brink of death. Camilla plugs it in and goes to brush her teeth, fully expecting Palamedes to backread while she’s in the bathroom. But when she comes back, he’s passed out on top of the covers, faceup, glasses still on, phone right where she left it. Camilla takes off his glasses and coaxes him under the covers with her. He curls up against her, his head on her shoulder, in the place it always goes. 

She kisses him gently on the forehead. From Dulcie.

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> If you liked this you will like [my friend darlingofdots' fic](https://archiveofourown.org/works/28434951/chapters/69679215), which was inspired by the same fever dream discord convo that this one grew out of! Cam/Pal/Dulcie + sexting is a juicy setup and we are here for all! of! it!!


End file.
